Thursday, October 17, 2013

Reasons the Trailer Thinks You Want To See The Hobbit 2



  • Middle Earth
  • More Middle Earth
  • Hey, guys, look, it's Middle Earth!
  • LEE PACE!
  • Richard Armitage, did anyone really forget about Richard Armitage?
  • The barrel scene, everyone.
  • Like, a really intense barrel scene
  • This is not the barrel scene from your childhood
  • Oh yeah, and by the way LEGOLAS
  • Bet you didn't see that coming
  • AND not only is Legolas in this movie but he also has an ELF GIRLFRIEND
  • WHO IS ALSO KATE FROM LOST
  • *who was not in the book*
  • An elf girlfriend who can fight.... really good.... hmmmm, where did I see that before?
  • Sauron is totally not the Necromancer, nope, not even a little bit
  • Gandalf with a sword
  • LEE PACE'S EYEBROWS!!!!!1!
  • Freaky close-up of Lee Pace's elaborate and grey-tinged eyebrows
  • *sweeping dramatic eyebrow shot*'
  • Did we mention Lee Pace was in this movie and he has eyebrows?
  • That pale orc you either didn't care about or hated because he wasn't in the book
  • Giant spiders
  • Aramis from Three Musketeers is Bard for anyone who actually watched Three Musketeers  (or remembers Bard in the first place)
  • Wizard fighting
  • Legolas shooting things at really, really close range
  • Fighting in the barrels during the barrel scene. Bet you don't remember that part! *Fanboys shriek and scream and dissolve in incoherent puddles of rage*
  • And let's not forget about the amazing, spectacular, stunning CGI dragon....
  • PSYCH! It's actually just Benedict Cumberbatch wearing heavy makeup
  • COMING DECEMBER 13 
  • IN 3D 
  • Also 2D for the peasants
  • BUT MOSTLY 3D!!!!
"Hey, wasn't, like, that Bilbo guy supposed to be the star of this movie or something?"
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